All posts tagged In Memory

  • Two Years Without Mom

    Dear Mom,

    In the blink of an eye, it’s been 2 years since you passed away. I miss you, so, so much.

    I still get surprised by the grief sometimes; it catches me off guard, like a random rain cloud on an otherwise sunny day. But as April and May approached, it felt more like the storm on the horizon: no matter how bright the day, I could sense the approaching darkness.

    And so we are here – two years later, with another year of celebrations and loss and laughter and hugs and tears. You missed your 57th birthday, your 35th wedding anniversary, and so much more.

  • A Letter to Grandma, Four Years Later

    Dear Grandma,

    In what seems like a blink of an eye, it’s the end of 2016, and it’s been four years without you.

    I missed writing to you last year, and I know you’d understand: without you, without Mom, it was a year in which everything was off. The world still seems off-balance, and I’ve realized that it may always feel that way.

    I still feel your absence most profoundly at Christmas time – not only because it is when you died, but because my childhood was filled with so many fond memories of Christmas celebrations at your house. I drove past the house a few days ago, and it looked so empty to me, without your spirit lighting it up.

  • Yes, You Can Ask About My Grief

    “I don’t know what to say.”

    In the nearly six months since my mom unexpectedly passed away, I have heard this phrase numerous times. And this is the response I have said so many times:

    “I don’t know what to say, either. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”

    I have often seen the “deer in headlights” look from both friends and strangers when my mom’s absence works its way into a conversation. I know it all too well (I have the same look when I enter unknown conversational territory!)

  • A Letter to Grandma, Two Years Later

    Dear Grandma,

    Two years – how is it possible? How can it be two years since we said goodbye to you?

    This summer, I went to your grave for the first time. My mom captured exactly how I felt when she said, “It doesn’t feel like she’s gone. It just feels like we haven’t seen her in awhile.” Your number is still in my phone, your address is still in my wallet. It simply feels like I haven’t seen you in awhile, but you are still here, in all your vibrancy.

  • A Letter to Grandma, One Year Later

    This blog was originally going to be posted on December 27, 2013, but my blog was down for maintenance. For all those who commented on my Facebook posting of this entry, thank you for your kind words.

    Dear Grandma,

    I can’t believe it’s been a year since I said my final goodbye to you. A very fast year, and one that I wish you were here for.

    There has been so much that this year has taught me. Not only the obvious things – a new country, a new language – but so much about love, loss, and what really matters in life.

  • This Spoiled Volunteer Life, Part 2, and Gray Sky Days

    Care Package Excitement:

    Another care package has arrived! Thank you to Aunt Terry, who sent me an amazing amount of hot sauce, ranch packets, and Jolly Ranchers.

    DSC09947Delicious things have come my way!

    Aunt Terry cushioned the goods with heavy duty plastic grocery bags that I will use for shopping here, and towels that my grandma embroidered, which will be displayed next month in the kitchen.

    DSC09950Even the items used to wrap my care package goodies are a gift!

    Gray Sky Days: